Humbled?

A while ago, I wrote on the subject on being humble. If you read it, recall that it was a meeting with a random man in the mall who told me all about myself then asked me if I was humbled. Funny thing is, I made a promise that I would change by my 22nd birthday. Welp, 22 has come and is half way gone and that humility I promised may not be as easy a task as I thought it would be. As the year has progressed, I have to say, I have been a little arrogant in how I carried myself. Yes, I bragged on and on about my accomplishments...Boy did that slap me right in the face. This humbling thing, its a process...But I intend to make it through...

God...God never gives you anything so you can brag about it. God does not bless you with the intent that you will go and blab about it to people who you know are not doing as well as you are. God does not bless us so that we hope others will covet us...Imagine that for a second. The last commandment...What if God did give us things to flaunt in front of others? What kind of God would He be? Would He be the fair God that everyone knows Him to be? I didn't think so...But so many times, we take the blessings that God has bestowed upon us and use them for the wrong thing. Whether it is to look good for someone, sound good for someone, or have something more than someone else, it is not what God intended us to do with it. And I've heard that if we don't utilize the gifts that God gave us, in His way, that He will surely find a way to make us miss that gift (Not in those words but you get my point)... So I will say this, God is a just God, He constantly goes out of His way to insure that we are well and that we are taken care of. If you don't believe me, how many of you woke up with your limbs working, your mouth moving, sight in your eyes? Yep, you get it. He is working on our behalf. Don't make God feel as if His work is being taken for granted. How do you feel when you feel taken for granted? Imagine God doing all He does for us and having that feeling...Not too good is it?

...It is so easy to get caught up all the blessings that God gives us. But we must first be appreciative of all that He does and make use of those gifts He bestows upon us, because let's be real, none of us DESERVE them. But He is faithful anyway...I'm not saying go be perfect and pray and fast everyday, not at all. But what I am saying, for myself anyway, is to stop treating God as if He is a convenience. He should be the first and last thing we are in touch with every single day. He knows our hearts. He knows what goes on...But He also wants to be personal with us. Take advantage of that relationship. He is the only one who is always available to you...



Until next time,
God Bless

Was it ever from God?

Recently, in the past 12 months, I have found myself struggling in this one area of life. One area that I thought would boost me to the next level but I just could not find a way to get to the next level I was looking for. Then, the something happened. Something I had been preparing for, looking, searching, praying for was in my hands. Like a grand prize from "Wheel of Fortune." I prayed and prayed and asked those around me to pray about it. And God had answered my prayers. So I proceeded to attempt to move on to the next level, even though I wasn't even finished with the one I was on. Let me think about that for a second...
What do you mean move on with with closing those doors? What do you mean you wanted to just skip right on to the next thing, without even bothering to finish what you started in the first place. Talk about being impatient. I jumped at the first thing that I thought would help me get pass what I was going through. Hoping it was the answer to moving me forward. Putting my faith in something that was of this world, something I couldn't take with me when I went on to the good ole "Pearly Gates." I put more faith in this job being what would deliver me than I did in God, my own Father, who had never ever forsaken me and had always provided a way out of no way? Really? Looking back, all of these struggles have led me to ask, was it ever from GOD? God's gifts also known as blessings, are effortless victories. What God blesses us with, we do not have to put up a fight to keep it, to hold on to it because HE has ordained it for us.


So, lets back track, prior to the last year, I have had victories that you wouldn't even imagine. 4 years ago, I started on a journey. I trusted Him for it because I knew that no matter what, He would keep me and watch over me as I went about my life making mistakes.
My first mistake, not consulting Him about this major decision. I can't lie, I had a relationship at the time, I knew better than to go without asking Him. But did I??? Nope, I just made my decision and that was final. Once things started going sideways, well, not in the way I thought was "right," I couldn't understand why I was having such a hard time with what I thought was a blessing from God. So I made up in my mind that I had the perfect plan to get out. I was going to just move on with the first opportunity that came. Ha, who was I fooling? I tried it, and I was snatched up within a matter of time. See, one thing I learned and I have had to deal with is, you can't start and not finish out on the journey God has planned for you. Nothing is on my time, it is on GOD's time. Who am I to say when I am done with what He has planned for me? So as I take this next few months to focus on what God's will is for me, I hope to continue to grow in my faith, and in knowing that I must complete my assignment from God before I can move on to the next one. Otherwise, I can be sure that I will lose a battle that isn't mine to fight. What God has for me, it is for me and only me. When He decides it is my time, He will let me know. Until then, I just have to get through this storm and trust that on the other side, He will be waiting to blow my mind. I just have to endure and be patient. It is all a part of the testimony...Lord, your will be done.

Humble yet?

A couple of months ago, my significant other and I were in the mall. We were actually having a disagreement on our way to the movie theater when an older (and most certainly wiser) man stopped us and asked if we were married. We were taken aback at first because here we are in the mall and some random person just walks up to us. So, after we tell him no, he asks us when our date was because he thought we were such a beautiful couple (people tell us this all of the time.) We laughed it off and we just started chatting. Turns out, this man has the same birthday as I do. So what do I do? Tell him. He asks me if I wanted him to tell me about myself. I am thinking to myself, ok, what can he tell me that I don't know about myself. I mean yea he does have years over me but he is a man and I am a young woman, but I listened anyway. The following is a short list of things and explanations he gave me about myself. True to form, they were right on point.
1. Energetic
He said that I was highly energetic and was always on the go. He said that when I am not doing anything, I get really fidgety and don't know what to do with myself. Basically, I need to find a balance between being on the go and finding the time to really rest. (Fact)
2. Bearer of my burdens
Well, again, he was right. I do put the weight of the world on my shoulders. Sadly, I also have a problem with sharing my problems and issues with those who love me and want to be here for me. I have always been an inward person who refuses to share her feelings with my loved ones. The only one who has ever called me out on it was my love. He feels he needs to be there as my backbone but because I am THAT black woman who was brought up to feel like she doesn't need anyone, it has been a struggle opening up. I realized that I was acting single and I should probably learn how to lean on my significant other more. I mean, what else would he be there for? (Fact)
3. Humility
The best and worst of me. My rejection to submit is my protection and my downfall. I am humble but a little too much of that leads to being prideful. After telling me about myself, Mr. Man asked me was I humble yet. Coincidently, that is exactly what my significant other and I had been discussing right before we saw this man. Along with other things I have issues with, I realized that night that I needed to find some humility about myself. I mean, I am not the most arrogant person you will ever meet, but I am stubborn and have a problem with submitting to people. Although I am a very sweet person, when it comes down to what I want, I better get it or we have a problem. Part of that is growing up getting almost anything I wanted, and the other part stems from forcing myself to spoil me when no one else would.

So long story short, having a complete stranger suggest that I needed humbling out was a sign from God himself telling me what He wanted and needed me to do before I can move on in my relationship with Him. So, this is my promise to myself, my significant other, my family, and the world that I am currently working on and plan to be a new humbled woman by my 22nd birthday. I figured I would take it upon myself before God decides that I am moving too slow (if He hasn't already done so). That is all, thanks for checking in!

-afrYcanviOlet