Lessons in Life: When is the Last Time You Paid it Forward?

I am moving super slow with this series of posts but we will get through this, TOGETHER! So in this series we are examining a few things about ourselves and our lives. The last two posts can be found on my in the post before last! Ok the question for this post is question number 3, How do you pay it forward? And here we go!

In order to get you have to give. It is the circle of life. So if you are expecting, make a difference in someone's life with a simple smile or with your time or simply giving a homeless person a meal or little pocket change. Try doing this at least once a day. If you just take 5 seconds to show you care about someone other than yourself, you will find that things will start to shift in your life.

So, what does paying it forward actually mean? From what I can gather, it is simply the act of a deed being repaid in return of having someone do a good deed for you. (You get me?). So it is simply doing a good deed in lieu of offering something else. So how does it apply?

I can say for myself that I am blessed. I know a lot of you can say the same. So with all of the blessing that gets done for you, how do you go about repaying God for all that He does for you? Do you volunteer? Offer you talents? Counsel? Pay your tithes? etc...These are just a few things that can be seen as "paying it forward" and thus increasing your happiness and the happiness of those around you. I don't know how often you volunteer your time or do something nice for someone in need but I know that when I do it, it makes me feel like I am being useful.  Not to mention, if you pay it forward, and the person you do something for pays it  forward, it will be a cycle that can help many people...and to know that it started with YOU!

As you go throughout your day, be a blessing to someone else and you will start to see blessings abundantly. I can't promise you will get something every single time but I do know that you will see a shift in your life...and remember to smile. You can't expect simple blessings if you go through your days with a mean mug. Plus, smiling helps you push past the pain of whatever is going on and helps you feel good on the inside. I promise it won't hurt :)

So today, make it your business to be a blessing to someone else!
Enjoy your Thursday!

Lessons in Life: Finding Joy in What You Already Have

So this post is a continuation of my last "Lesson in Life: Giving to Receive." Now, let me say for the record that no, I am not perfect and I don't claim to be. These are just a few things that I have been through and witnessed and felt compelled to write about. Ok now if you haven't read the last post, it had a few questions up there that are relevant to what I am about to say so I would suggest you go back and read that one. If you have the time. I will try to keep this one a little shorter.

This post is going to address question 2: What type of words would you use to describe your place in life? Are you grateful for your job right now? Do you thank God for waking you up? Are you grateful that your account has sufficient funds? These things, though taken for granted are the things that God placed in your life and you can best believe He wants to see you grateful for these things before He will bless you with more. If you are constantly complaining about your kids, your bills, your car, you can't expect more. It's just not going to happen. The words we speak have the power of life and death. We use so many words in a day and sometimes, I don't think we are cognizant of every thing that comes out of our mouth. The positivity or negativity  that we speak from out mouths can change the course of our lives. If we constantly speak about the good in our lives, speak words of gratefulness, so will we become.  If we walk around crying broke all the time, so will we become.  But you know this!

So what to do about this? I'm glad you asked! Moving forward, just watch what you say. If you want to see changes in your life, it starts with you. It starts with you accepting and being appreciative of what you have. You have to speak good over your life. You can't allow people to speak negative over you either. And if they do, you rebuke that immediately. And guard yourself daily by saying a prayer to God to shield you from other people's negative energy and negative words. If those are the people who surround you and you truly want things to change in your life? Well, you just might need to examine their worth in your life. You are trying to be elevated but you have baggage that holds you down...You can't get far with baggage. Negativity is baggage! Let it go!

...Stay Tuned...

Lessons in Life: Giving To Recieve

I have always been a giver. In elementary school I would always be the one with no pencils to write with because I always let someone borrow them. Being the second oldest sibling, giving became second nature considering the fact that I have two younger sisters. Now, as much as I give, I never have had a problem with going without things that I NEED. My wants, well, I like to have a lot of things, shoes, clothes, jewelry, all the things a girl wants. But when it has come down to what I needed, I was never left without. Now what I am about to get into isn't as cute as what I just wrote. If you are a stingy or selfish person, you might now like what I have to say. But I'm going to say it anyway...

This weekend I had an interesting and thought provoking experience. These verses became so relevant in my life. So enlightening! So if you would, turn with me to 2 Corinthians 9:7 which says, "Every man according as he purposeth in his heart, so let him give; not grudgingly, or of necessity: for God loveth a cheerful giver." I hear a lot of people complaining to be broke all the time. And well, if you want to stay that way, just remember that your words have the power of life and death. You want wealth, speak it into your life. You want stability, speak it into your life. That is the only way these things come...But before you get to speaking start with the home team and let's do some examinations...Ready?

1. You want more but do you fully appreciate what you have right now?

2. What type of words would you use to describe your place in life? If they aren't words of gratefulness, they aren't enough.

3. How do you pay it forward? Do you pay your tithes? Do you give to the homeless? Do you volunteer your time? 

4. Do you give cheerfully? Or do you give because you think it is the right thing to do? 

5. When God speaks to you, do you take heed to His directions?

6. Do you put your trust in man or do you put your trust in God?

Now, as you answer these questions, write them down. If any of these aren't pleasing to you or aren't pleasing to God, your next step is to work on those things to make them right. The first and last questions, I think, are the most important. Why? I'm glad you asked... God has a plan for your life. Everything that happens to you is a blessing. Nothing that God does for you is a curse. With that being said, if you are in a place in your life where you have what you NEED, and you can't be grateful, how do you expect God to elevate you and you can't be appreciative of what you have right now? You think He is going to keep giving to you and you don't thank Him with a cheerful heart? Try again... If you have things in your life that God has given you and you don't want to take care of those things, you think He will give you anything else to just let sit there? It's just not going to happen. When God gives us things whether it is a house, a car, or a child, these things are given to us as blessings and expected to be taken care of. We don't take care of them, we don't get to the next level. So, maintain what you have right now. Focus on what you have in front of you and be grateful and then you will see God start to shift things around in your life!

This is about to be a series of posts because this topic is way too long. Don't just wait for me to keep talking, comment and let me know what you think. 

...Stay Tuned...

Until next time! 

Later Phenomenal Ladies!

Write It Down, Make It Happen Campaign

This is a really quick post about something big that is going on this year. One of my favorite Youtubers, BronzeGoddess, is starting a campaign called "Write it Down, Make it Happen" for 2012. It originated from the actual book titled "Write it Down, Make it Happen." I have not read the book yet but I plan to this year. I just wanted to spread the word and say, if you are a believer, join the movement. I believe that God will grant us the desires of our heart. If you are expecting a blessing this year, ask God, for those who ask shall receive. Now don't get crazy and make this Santa Claus Christmas wishlist but you know what God has granted you so far and if you know Him, you know He will give you all that you ask for, more abundantly, according to the power that works in you...So if you expect greatness out of this year, make you vision plain by meditating on God's word, letting Him guide you, and writing it down and making it happen. Watch This Video for more information about the Campaign. I am expecting greatness from this year. I am about to make my list right now. I will share it but for now I have to actually go and pray and meditate on somethings.

This goes along with the messages from my posts earlier this year Be About Your Business and Make 2012 Your Year. Check them out as you starting thinking about your expectations about the year.

If you feel compelled, share some of your expectations for the year! Keep this in mind as you go into this campaign: "Faith Without Works is Dead." Are you holding up your end of the deal???

-Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight

Last Day of the Month

Today is the last day of February. Again, this year is flying by...I have been fighting a battle in my life and it is because I have chosen to be an honest person and those around me continue to remain untruthful, despite efforts to get the truth to surface. But, I won't complain. I will praise God for allowing me to be able to show my true character this month and for allowing this situation to push me on to the next level of being a better me.

Character is usually measured by the actions that you perform when people aren't looking. It is what you do when you think you are alone. When you choose to do the right thing, regardless of what others think, you are doing as God will do. Last week, before I went into work, I prayed and read my Bible. I let God lead me to what He felt was a message that needed to come across my vision that day. So, I fell upon Proverbs 16. I read the whole thing, not thinking that it would have a major role in what was about to go down at my job...

I won't go into too much detail but the incident took place that day. I had this very bad feeling and I had major anxiety behind it. Now, I suffered from anxiety the entire time I was in school and that is just not a life I want to live. So I called my mentor/spiritual advisor and talked to her about the situation. She told me not to lie. To tell the truth and make sure I did it soon. So I made up in my mind that I would. The next day, after a sleepless night filled with anxiety, I decided to do what was right. Come to find out, there were already questions floating around about the situation. It is funny how God works. The situation could have turned out completely different and I would have been in jeopardy of losing my job.

Lesson from this situation: The truth is always better than telling a lie. No matter how bad the situation may turn out, it is better to keep yourself safe by being honest rather than letting a situation play out and you become a bystander who suffers. This experience showed me that I am a strong person who stands for what is right. I never knew what I would do in a situation such as this but I always want to do the right thing. Doing the right thing will result in having enemies but as I said in the last post, if God is for you, no man can be against you. I trusted God to take care of this situation and even though it is not completely over, I know that I will come out victorious because I was honest and obedient.

Let God's ways lead your life. No matter how hard it may be to make the right decision, God will have an answer and He will provide for you. Don't let your life be lead by the lacksadasical ways of other people. Just because they don't live their lives in an honest way, a way God would approve, doesn't mean you have to conform to their way of life. If you are a believer, always believe in doing the right thing...It is not always fun but living among people who contradict themselves daily, you will stand out and God will show favor for living by His plan...

In the meantime, life is great. I'm still constantly learning about this thing called life. I hope that God continues to show me how to be a better person (I'm not that bad, but there is always room for improvement.)

What are some things about yourself that you REALLY love or REALLY want to change? Let's chat about them below!

It's Friday!!!

This past week has been great! Interesting and full of surprises. I won't complain. I will just share that God is just doing some amazing things in my life! He just keeps showing up and showing out and I am loving it! So this week I had a very bad day at one of my jobs. I mean, so much that I asked God to please bless me to be out of the within 6 months. It became an afterthought because well, I need the money right now so I am grateful to have a job, or two. Throughout the week, I really was contemplating getting another part time job but again, it became an afterthought.

Well, I wrote about my great news back in January where I said I was being trained as a manager for one favorite job! Well, yesterday I found out that there was an opening for a manager at another site and well, of course I am applying for it. I thought about letting my coworker go for it alone since she had already been passed up for the sub-manager training but then I started thinking and realized I wanted the opportunity as well. It was a good thing I didn't tell her I would be applying. She went behind my back and tried to say I was not qualified to be trained as a sub-manager because I had only been there a month. But whatever! So after talking with the S.O as well as the manager who hired me, they both encouraged me to express my interest in the position. My manager felt confident that I could do the job so if she thought so, I guess I am!

I am feeling so great right now. I asked God for His guidance and I prayed a prayer that simply said, "If it is in Your will, let it be done." Simple as that. I am putting in the work and praying that this lines up with His will and I know that whatever the outcome, it will be for the best. I will say though, the best part about it is the pay raise oh and the manager title. I am 23 and about to be a manager...23! That will do wonders for my career from here on out. There are about 2 other managers leaving as well so if this position isn't for me, I have 2 other chances to make it happen!

This has been the highlight of my week. God is doing some things in my life that I never thought imaginable. The funny thing is, as soon as all of this happened, I remembered the job before this and realized, there never would have been an opportunity to move ahead. God does everything for a reason and I am really getting on board with His will!

So, happy Friday to all and tell me about your week! What were some highs and lows of your week?

In Those Moments...Pray

Life can be difficult. Extremely difficult at times. You get down and things in life just kick you, and continue kicking. When the turmoil in life happens, sometimes, it can throw you for a loop and really knock you off of your stoop. It just happens sometimes. Since it is just sometimes, how come those times seem to last so long and be so painful. So painful that you don't want to get out of the bed in the morning. You don't want to see the sun come up. You don't want...to. You just don't.

I've been there. Broke, jobless, hurt, confused, frustrated and all that! At the same time. I wanted to pray but, I just couldn't find the strength to get past the pain, the hurt, the tears. I just couldn't. But one day, I woke up... I wasn't so sad anymore. I wanted to move forward because that was the only thing I could do. I got up, cleaned up, showered, and went on the town to look for jobs. I may have applied to 30 jobs that week. I didn't even keep count. I do know that I went in though. I started feeling better, started feeling like I could pray again. When I felt like I couldn't, I would just say "Lord, your will be done." Then I would find peace for a little while. In my situation, I messed up. I probably could have been out of my situation long before I was if I had just simply prayed. 4 months of sulking and self-pitying. I could have been praying the whole time and asking God to help me come to peace with my situation. I should have been asking God to provide some peace over my life so that I could have been prepared to start moving forward sooner. I SHOULD HAVE trusted that God had a better plan for me. But I knew it all so I couldn't accept that I wasn't where I wanted to be.

Praying will never harm you. God will never harm you. He said in Jeremiah 29:11, "For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." These are just the basics that God has promised to those who love Him. So when you find yourself in a down and out situation, remember that God will not forsake you. Stay prayed up and keep Him in the forefront of your life and I promise you will find peace in everything that life throws your way. Life can be tough and if you aren't prayed up, you will be prey for the enemy. If you are steadfast in your faith, you will falter in every obstacle that you encounter. Life isn't made to be easy, if it was, we'd all know how to live through the hard times. We'd have the innate skills to prevent bad things from happening to us. But we don't. And we never will. So the best thing for us to do is to just continue to pray through everything. The good, the bad, and the ugly of life. Because God will always remind you of His presence. He will provide peace of any situation.

So whatever you are going through, whether that is a job loss, trying to find a job fresh out of college, trying to pay off your debt, trying to simply make ends meet, you will get out of it. Just keep God first in your life and remember Jeremiah 29:11-He will not harm you.

-God Bless and I hope you had a great Wednesday!

Life's Short: Get Some

An old time family friend of ours passed away on Friday from a long fight with breast cancer. Upon arriving to my humble abode, I found out. It hurt my heart because I have known this lady basically all of my life and for the last 12 years or so, she has been a survivor to me.

Like most people, the death of those you know really makes you start thinking. Life is extremely short. I have been talking all year about pursuing my own dreams and I would just like to dwell in that place once more, in the month of February. Life is really short. Like for real. In a blink of an eye, your life can be turned upside and inside out. Those close to you can be taken, those dreams you hoped you would get to pursue have to be put on hold. It is a serious thing. But I can tell you that not only am I a testimony, I am a witness that if you just go for what you want, you will experience an unforgettable joy, something that NO ONE can take from you.

My best friend since middle school is the person I have been able to witness God working on. My best friend has gone through the ringer since we graduated from high school. From great jobs to no job, health to bad health, engaged to not. Some of everything has happened to this girl and she has kept going. I met up with her for breakfast on Sunday and it ended 4 hours later. She had this glow about her. Something I hadn't seen since she gave birth to my beautiful godson who is now 4 years old. She has gotten a new job after a year of being out on disability and is planning to go back to school starting this summer. She is happily in a relationship and she has found God in herself. She has found GOD in her life. She has learned what happens when God comes first in your life. And that is again, something that NO ONE can take from you. Just last year I remember sending her inspirational text messages in hope that she would be in a frame of mind to take it in. Anytime I would see her when I went home, she'd never be able to tell me about what the Bible said. On Sunday, this girl was spitting it to me like she'd been studying for years. And I ate it up! She is growing into such an amazing woman and she is finally realizing that she is more than a validation from other people. She has started going to Bible study, she is a mentor for young mothers, and she is even starting to pick up where we left off with our plan for her part of our non-profit. I am amazed to see this happening before my eyes. She goes on to prove that when God is your pilot, you can't go anywhere but up! She is taking life by the horns and LIVING! I'm telling you, 2012 is going to be an amazing year.

In memory of all of those we have lost to breast cancer, take a moment to just pray for their family and friends.

Reflect on your life and where you want to be in 6 months. Every moment is valuable, spend it wisely!

Are you making it happen for you?

Those Stinkin' Nightmares

So I am so adamant about not getting a relaxer ever again. In my mind, a relaxer would be the worse thing I could do to my hair at this point. I don't think about it that often but apparently, it is still apart of my psyche and it literally scares me. I have nightmares, yes nightmares, about my mother putting a relaxer in my hair. I wake up crying every time!!! Now you may think I am crazy and that may be true BUT, I had no choice in relaxers for so long that I now can't see myself going back by being forced to do it. It is not an option anyway.

This post comes about because my mother, who hates natural hair with a passion, put a relaxer in my 6 year old niece's hair, without her mother's permission, she put a relaxer in my youngest sister's hair after my sister began to get frustrated with it, and she put a relaxer in my middle sister's hair after she failed to tame it after she gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. When I first started transitioning, my mom kept commenting about how my hair would break off and how we couldn't go anywhere with her with our hair looking "like that," and a whole bunch of other rude and snide comments. Lucky for me, I was in my senior year of college and well, I just didn't give a doggone about her opinion, at all. However, it was very annoying having my own mother not support me in my decision but no matter what, I knew it was right for me. I knew I couldn't trust her opinion about my hair when it had never grown past neck length because of it being over processed by 6-8 week relaxers that were not used correctly either. But that is another story. So, my sister was unnecessarily defending her decision to relaxer after over a year, I jokingly told her about my nightmares. She looked at me like I was half crazy or something.

I started thinking, maybe my attachment to my hair is very mental and emotional. VERY EMOTIONAL. I wrote about my experience attempting a new style and how it failed. It brought me to tears. However, I bounced back from it. I have nightmares about my hair being relaxed at least once a week and it just breaks my heart to go back that route. My hair is so healthy and full and it is flourishing, I never had that when I was getting relaxers. Some people go natural because it is a fad to them and you can usually tell by how easy they give up when you go through a phase where you don't know what to do! I have had moments of frustration, especially lately. But I look at the brighter side and I can be sure of two things, my hair is healthy and my hair is growing. My hair may actually be longer than it has ever been, at least since I can remember. I know for a fact my hair is the healthiest it has ever been. I take pride in knowing that I am doing right by my hair and that is why I am so emotional about it staying curly. The best thing about my journey has been the versatility. I have been natural for 6 months now and while I transitioned, I could wear it straight, curly, wavy and all of the above. I think getting relaxers really scarred me and it is really crazy but it is true. I am coming into my womanhood and learning that regardless, straight or curly, I am beautiful!

Happy Birthday

Presenting me!

Happy Birthday to Me! I am 23. In honor of today, I am going to give myself a motivational talk to propel into my 23rd year. My motivation is going to be a list of 23 things I love about myself. I am doing this because we often focus on the things we need to improve on instead of the things we love about ourselves. I don't know about the rest of you but I am my own worst critic. I get down on myself about the smallest things so today, I am going to be my biggest cheerleader!

I love...
1. My smile. Smiling is infectious. I know my smile keeps me going and it helps me through some of my worst days.
2. My hair. Yes I love my natural hair. It is one of the things I take pride in because it is a journey I have stuck with through the good and the bad. My hair is flourishing because I am finally learning to take care of it. -I am loving it!
3. My health-I am at my prime and I am in excellent health. Even though I don't work out like I am supposed to, I still remain active most days of the week with only a day or two of rest.
4. My ambition-I am truly a little lady with big dreams. Even though I have had a tough few months, I can still dream big and know that my dreams will come true!
5. My work ethic-When I work, I go hard. It can be the smallest thing but if I say I am going to do it, I surely will. When doing small jobs, people ask why I go above and beyond. Simply put, because I can!
6. My resilience-My S.O hates that I bounce back so easily. He worries that I don't spend enough time dealing with my present feelings. Which, I don't. But being resilient helps me keep going through the hard times. I can deal with emotions later!
7. My feet- I used to be self conscious about my feet until I got to college. I didn't realize how cute they were until I starting keeping them polished and pedicured. I think the pedicures help with the mental part!
8. My relationship with God- Though it could be better, I value the fact that I have a relationship with God. He is the light of my life and my all.
9. My discernment- I've been told that I have good energy/a good aura. With that being said, I value my sense of discernment. I am extremely sociable but I also know where to draw the line with people. I can sense a negative person out within 2 minutes of meeting them. This is how I can keep my life so intact because negativity does not exist by choice.
Can I just say that this a harder than I thought? I am going to make it through it though!
10. My compassion-I love people a little too much. I will give a bum on the street the shirt off my back or my last dollar. I have done it before.
11. My will to live- I have a pretty adventurous life compared to where I come from. I don't let any limits keep me from traveling or pursuing a new endeavor. Life is short, live while you can!
12. My love of adventure- Every year since I started college, I have been to a new state. I have been to The Big Apple, California, Las Vegas, Miami and a few other states that have beaches. By far, Vegas has been a highlight. I won some money too!
13. My hustle- I have survived working 3 jobs on a daily basis. Enough said about that one...
14. My personality- I never meet a stranger. I have always been known as a social butterfly and I live up to that. If you ever see me on the streets, be prepared to learn a little something about me before you leave. I love talking to people. Even if people give me bad vibes, I will still find something to chat with them about if I have to be around them for extended periods of time (coworkers that is...)
15. My love of learning-I like to learn about people's backgrounds, cultures, habits etc. I love learning about people. I love learning about anything. I just love learning. I always asked about people's whereabouts because I am always interesting in other people's experiences. Experiences shape people.
16. My life experiences- Despite the bad, I have come to appreciate everything that I have been through in my 23 years. They have all made me who I am today.
17. My networking skills-I love to network. I am in a very malleable stage in my life so my network comes in handy when I am interested in finding out different careers, lifestyles etc.
18. My photogenic-ness- I love to take pictures! When I had Facebook, I had thousands of pictures. I told you, I love my smile!
19. My intelligence- I have to say, I am brains just as much as beauty. I can figure out how to navigate my way through just about anything!
20. My listening ear-Though this gets draining sometimes, I do appreciate the fact that I can be called on when my friends need me. My friends know that I am always a call away no matter the time, day, or event.
21. My vivacious spirit- Most people will never see me frown. My old boss told me the other day that no matter what is going on, he has never seen me with a frown on my face. I think I pick myself up just as much as a friend can.
22. My elegance and grace- Though clumsy, which I always use as a humorous introduction, I carry myself with elegance and grace at all times, unless I trip and fall on my face...which has been done several times in my life, in front of a lot of people (I like to make people laugh)
23. My confidence- I love a lot about myself and I am not afraid to show it. I've been asked be some people that I grew up with, how I keep my confidence through the good and bad. And here is my secret...I remember that no matter what happens, I come out of every situation victorious and more prepared for the next battle. With God on my side, I can do all through Christ who strengthens me!

That's my Birthday gift to myself! I think once a year of doting on the positives goes a long way!

Be About Your Business

So I found this article on Essence.com. It was written by Janelle Harris also known as "The Write or Die Chick." I will provide the link but I will add the prayer up here for those of us who are trying to pursue something in 2012. Read Here


Dearest God,



I thank you for women abandoning the security of the corporate world to chase their dreams. Thank you for making them adventurous, bold, unsettling. Now stir up the talents and skills you’ve placed in them to be shared with the rest of the world. Help them to think big and not limit themselves to what their colleagues or checking accounts may say is “reality.” Renew them in their journey, restore them creatively and professionally, surround them with the resources they need to push into a new level of success. Remind them to reach back and help another sister in her journey. And, after they’ve “made it” and reached the goals they’ve worked so hard to check off, let them never forget where they came from and most importantly, what you’ve done for them. In your name I pray, Amen.

This powerful prayer is articulate and direct. Much needed for someone like me who needs help articulating from time to time.

Make 2012 Your Year

I have been wanting to pursue a career in a specific field for a few years now. I have continually put it on pause because people have told me often that the market is not good right now so it would be a waste of time and money to try to pursue this dream...If you haven't guessed it by now, it is real estate. Yea the market isn't going so well right now but you can bet on one thing, people will always buy houses...period. I should have worked on it in the fall but I was not in the mental space to think this far ahead. Now that I can think straight, I can put some things together and these are things I have to realize about pursuing my dream:
1. You can't consult just anybody about your dream. Everyone is not out for your best interest and they always think they can advise you better than God.
2. If God gives you a vision, you can best believe it is not a mirage. God is not a god of confusion. He makes it extremely clear what He wants for you. No need to consult others regarding the validity of that decision (unless it is spiritual consultation and even then, be on alert.)
3. The bad market is the best place to start because you have time to make mistakes, learn, and grow so when the market turns around, you can go in informed and knowledgeable about the area around you...DUH
4. Everyone has an opinion. Opinions are just that, not fact. Opinions can wear you down and slow you down. Therefore, if you are really and truly adamant about pursuing dreams, do your research and arm yourself with facts so those opinions don't have any value in your decisions.
5. Last but not least, Just do it. Fear will keep you from living. I know, I have been there. Don't let the fear of failure keep you from pursuing your dreams. There will certainly be ups and downs but that is all a part of the process and the journey. No one started out with on their first day. It is a necessary part of the journey to fall so that you can rise from where you are, bigger and better.

So if you have a dream you were hoping to pursue, do it this year. Make a timeline of what you are hoping to achieve and just do it. I can bet your bottom dollar that once you start, it will be the most rewarding thing you have done for yourself yet! So shoot for the stars in everything you do this year!

Sidenote: If you are a prayer warrior, I ask that you pray that a space is saved for me so that I get into the class to start toward my real estate license. The class starts next Thursday!!!
Thanks in advance!

He Had a Dream: What is Yours? MLK Day 2012

I have to say, celebrating black history is something that I do often. I love reading about slavery, the reconstruction era, the jim crow, the civil rights, the harlem renaissance, all of that, in no particular order. But I don't know the basics. Had you asked me when I used to sing, what the verses were for "Lift Every Voice and Sing," I'd spit it out for you, no questions asked. These days, the words escape me, real bad...It is actually pretty ridiculous...


While in attending an MLK Jr Day event on Saturday, we started the day off getting through the Black Anthem. And boy was it a struggle...It went something like this "Lift every voice and sing, til Earth and Heaven ring, ring with the harmonies of liiiiiiberty. Let our rejoicing rise, high as the listening skies. Let it resound, loud as the opeeeen rolling sea.
Sing a song, full of the faith that the dark past has taught us. Sing a song, full of the hope that the presence has boooooooouuuuuuught us! Facing the rising sun, of a new day begun, Let us march on til victory is won..."

Thinking that would be well with the first first we sang, everyone stopped. Until.......One of the elders started to sing the second verse. It went down hill from there. She literally had to lead us through the song, as if we were the church choir and she the director (and we did not practice well in rehearsal 2 Saturdays ago). I was embarrassed. And it went something like this: "Stony the road we trod, bitter the chastening rod, felt in the days when hope unborn had died. hmhmhmhmhmhmhmhmhmhmhmhm, hmmmmmhhmhmhmhm feet,Come to the place from which our father's died" (wrong word again I know, It was sad.) I mean, how could I (we) embarrass those who fought so hard for us to sing that song in public by not even knowing the song. And not to mention, it went like that for the rest of the song. The elders were very irritated at the younger generation. I don't blame them. So I made it my business to be sure to learn the song this year. In the meantime, that was just a big fat F.

Ok, real quick. MLK Jr made it clear that he had a dream for us. So many things have changed but so many things have stayed the same. In the year of 2011, I thought a dream I was shooting for would never come true. I went through a phase throughout the entire year thinking my dream would be just that, a dream. But right at the end of the year, I received some inspiration that reminded me that a dream is only a dream until steps are taken to make it a reality. Until then, it will just be a should have, could have, would have, situation. And so it is, I refuse to go through 2012 with the same lackadaisical attitude that I had before. My dreams will come true when I start making moves for them, not when time decides it is ready for me to move.

With that being said as you go throughout the year pursuing your dreams, remember that Dr. King had a dream for us and in the state the black community is in right now, he wouldn't be proud. So in 2012, make it your business to reach back and make sure there is someone you take under your wing and keep the dream alive in them. This is the only way the dream will live on.

What did you do to celebrate Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.'s legacy this year?

Epiphany

On random days I get these feelings of excitement. Like epiphanies that come from knowing that a year has come and gone and an obstacle is almost over. 16 days into 2012 and I just had this epiphany that, well it is a new year, a new day, an opportunity to continue moving forward with my dreams. Funny, because I have written several posts about the new year but it really just dawned on me about 10 minutes ago. We celebrated my sweetie's birthday yesterday, my youngest sister's birthday on last Wednesday, my middle sister's (and new mom) 21st birthday is today and mine will be the Monday after (Yes we all have January birthdays, so do our Significant Others! Cool right?). I will be turning 23 on the 23rd. 23 years I will have been on this Earth and as grateful as I am, I find that there is a lot that I am hoping to gain out of life. So this year as I gracefully find out what 23 has for me, I am hoping to not only going rebuild my confidence and my drive, and my prowess for life. As the middle of my year went downhill, I found that even through my pain I was able to finish out tasks that were set before me. So if I can do that with a broken heart and muddied head, I know that I can kick it back into gear and get moving on my dreams. Most importantly, I am going to start consulting God about those dreams, you know, just to make sure I am on accord with His plan. I was reading a post that I wrote back in August and I knew that what happened to me during the last four years (dealing with my education) was a result of not consulting God about my decisions) Read Here. Now that I am aware of where I went wrong, I can move forward knowing what I need to do.

This year, I am hoping to begin to socialize more. I am a social butterfly and most people who meet me know that. I have never met a stranger and I rarely find myself unable to talk to people. Once I secluded myself from the world, that never changed. I enjoyed the lunches and the dinners and bar nights, I really did. But I think I needed a break just so I could focus on where I was and where I needed to be. So this year I hope to slowly increase my social life again.

With this new year, I also want to get back into school. I like working but I love learning. I can do both and I hope to do that soon. So right now I am studying for the GRE. With great enthusiasm. I hope to do well so I can be in school in the Fall, God-willing.

With this new year, I have a new attitude and a new look on life, I can do whatever I put my mind to. With that being said, I know that this year has a lot in store for me. Everyday is a new opportunity to make moves toward something great. I'm making sure I take advantage of every moment given to me...I mean, that is what the moments are given to us for, right?

New Year, New Values: Forgiveness

We all hear about it. We all say it. But what does it really take to actually FORGIVE someone who has hurt you once, twice, or as many times as a clock strikes in a day? I have recently experienced the extent to which forgiveness will truly take over your daily functioning and how I have been forced to grow. Truly grow past hurt and pain I have experienced from friends.

In the last few months of the year, I was really forced to lean on my friends. Sadly, no one really had time to help me past my hurt because they were so focused on things going on in their lives. Now all I could think of at the time was, WTH, I am always there for my friends, dropping everything for them and I can't get an ear to talk to...PROBLEM. So for the last two months of the year, I stopped talking to my friends, didn't call them for their birthdays, didn't call for the holidays. I was truly taken aback by the fact that they weren't there for me and honestly considered calling the friendship quits, despite years of good times. But one day I just woke up and I was over it. I was truly over the hurt that I had experienced from feeling like my friends had left me hanging. Then, I realized that in order for me to start my new year off in the right way, it would be best for me to just...forgive...It feels like a weight has been released off of my heart, chest, and my mind. What it really took for me to forgive, well keep reading...

During those months that I choose not to talk to my friends, I noticed, they didn't call me either. Interesting enough, I thought I was hurting them when I was only hurting myself. That is when I finally said, ok, I will be the one to break the ice and make the move to either go forward with a friendship or really just consider it a seasonal situation. When I gave in and prayed about it, I found that I had no choice but to just forgive. Just forgive. Let the past be the past and move forward. What may come of it, will come, it was out of my hands. So I forgave. I still didn't talk to one of my friends until the last week of the year and the other just two days ago. As interesting as it was, I found that even after all of the pain I experienced behind my friends, forgiving them made all of that go away and I've been able to have pleasant, non-disgruntled conversation with them. Fancy that! So my lesson to you and myself is to find it in yourself to forgive those who hurt you in the past. It really only hurts you by holding a chip on your shoulder because the other person probably goes on with their lives. So from here on out, forgiveness is incorporated into my growth plan. I wouldn't be human if I didn't face hurt from those close to me...Now I'm not saying to be a punching bag. However I do believe that relationships require bumps along the journey.

What is a friendship without a few obstacles? What is the point of working toward having a stronger relationship if there is nothing to really grow into?

Hope this helps you move forward with the New Year!

Motivation for the New Year

For those of us who experienced rough and tough in 2011, I wanted to remind us of the phoenixes we are when we rise from the ashes and claim our lives from bad situations. So as you end your 5th day of the year, and start the beginnings of a new year, enjoy the readings of Maya Angelou. She wrote this piece for me and for you...to remind us that even though the rain falls and the winds blow, we will rise from our situations.

Still I Rise
You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may trod me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I'll rise.

Does my sassiness upset you?
Why are you beset with gloom?
'Cause I walk like I've got oil wells
Pumping in my living room.

Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I'll rise.

Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops.
Weakened by my soulful cries.

Does my haughtiness offend you?
Don't you take it awful hard
'Cause I laugh like I've got gold mines
Diggin' in my own back yard.

You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I'll rise.

Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I've got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs?

Out of the huts of history's shame
I rise
Up from a past that's rooted in pain
I rise
I'm a black ocean, leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.
Leaving behind nights of terror and fear
I rise
Into a daybreak that's wondrously clear
I rise
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
I rise
I rise
I rise.


Maya Angelou

Motivation for the New Year: Be the "Master of Your Fate: The Captain of Your Soul" In 2011

This poem is posted right next to the door. I was tasked to read it each day before leaving home. As I was watching "Verses and Flow" on TVOne, I was reminded again of this poem. So I am sharing it with you.
Invictus by William Henley

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

Welcome 2012!!!

So in the spirit of the new year and a birthday on the horizon, I decided that it is about time to make some real changes. Not just resolutions for the year, but lifestyle changes to better my intellect, physical and mental health. So I have a list of things that must happen in order for me to experience some true growth in the next six months. I give myself six months so I can measure where I am and actually have something to look forward to rather than wait all the way until December and most likely forget things that I say today, January 4th. So here is my list of things that I will incorporate into a better lifestyle this year:
1. Pray more...I pray. I just pray at night before I go to bed and to bless my food. Now, don't throw your judgement hat on just yet. I have a hard time asking God for things. I can give Him all the praise in the world but when it comes to ASKING, I tend to back myself into a corner. So I will pray and meditate more often.
2. Go to church more...I am a slacker. I have said this before. When it comes to church, getting up early on Sunday is really hard. I love going to church and as soon as I get over that hump of dragging myself out of the bed, I am fine. I was doing fine for a little bit but some family issues kept me from going to my home church any longer. I go to my SO's church too but it is hit or miss. I did not spend my first Sunday of the year in church but I do plan to make sure I am at least in Bible Study once a week. (Starting next week, I am already slacking...)
3. Save more money...For real. I am going on 23 and I do not have any money saved up. That is a problem because it is not like I do not know what it takes to save money. I just like to have things when I want them. I am very impatient when it comes to things I want and I often just buy things for myself rather than wait on someone else to do it for me. That comes from being the older child. So this year, I am putting all of my impulse buys to the side and really being cautious of the money I spend. Maybe I should invest in a shock collar or something...
4. Take care of my body-physical and nutrition...for real. Now if you look at my earlier post, I vowed to start working out more. I was doing great for a couple of weeks but I fell off track. Anyone who has tried working out after being away for so long can understand where I am coming from. Missing one day can throw everything off. Well, my doctor told me that I needed to get about 3 to 4 days of cardio in a week. Thats not too bad. I can do this!!! I have tried the multivitamins. It is hard to take them because they often make me gag. Because I don't eat a good breakfast. MY FAULT. Working on that too
5. Last but not least...Work on my relationships. This is for my family and my friends. I actually need to weed through the friends though. Even though there aren't that many, they have more issues than Time Magazine. It gets draining, more than it should to be a friend so I need to learn how to take care of myself before I can help my friends.

I think these five things are extreme growing points for me. I hope to keep tabs on this so in six months, I can see how far I have come...
What are some things you hope to work on in 2012?

Happy New Year

I hope everyone had a great end of 2011. It was a year of successes, setbacks, trials, and tribulations but we made it to another year. I hope 2012 is prosperous and amazing as we apply the lessons we have learned from our experiences. Happy New Year to all!

There's Hope!!!!!!!!

Ok, so in the last three months, I have been sort of...length obsessed. In the beginning I was checking my hair every single day, taking pictures everyday. I didn't expect my hair to grow overnight but I wanted to have pictures so that I could document my progress. My first photoshoot was August 30th. So I have attempted to keep an accurate account of my growth so that I know I am doing the right things. Anyone feel me?

So anyway, I will try to get these pictures up here. No guarantee because I am not very computer savvy when it comes to getting things from point A to point B. A being my webcam, B being this blog...The point is, I see the growth. I have about an inch more than I did when I cut off the relaxed ends in August!! Needless to say, I am geek'd. I can finally see progress and that makes me excited!

September 12

October 18

November 17

The most obvious length differences can be seen in picture 1 and picture 5 & pictures 2 and picture 6! This has me pumped and excited! I now see that I am making growth and doing a good job at retaining length. Even though it is not much, it has motivated me to keep it up!

-This is just a little inspiration for those of you who are also newly natural! If you are anything like me, you need visuals so that you can make sure you are keeping up with your own progression.

Be encouraged and stay beautiful!