Tuesday, December 21, 2010


I have a confession: I am the busiest of busy bodies and I need help. I enjoy being on the go, I really do but I also like to relax. My problem is, I cannot seem to find a balance between on the go all the time, and adequate time to relax. What is my problem??!!

I am currently on break from school and I find myself having a daily spat with the decision: to sleep or not to sleep. Now on the regular, while school is in, I might get 5-7 hours of sleep a night. That is fine with me. Most days, I am able to just keep going and going as long as I have some energy in the form of breakfast. Now that I am on the break, there is so much sleep that I could be getting but I find myself FINDING something to get into. Planning for the next semester, researching for my non-profit, running errands for someone, and of course, hanging with my beloved friends! Today I decided to wake up and just take a day for myself and do nothing but indulge on TV and snack foods. That has lasted all of two hours. Now I have ants in my pants and need to get out to do something. Seriously? I will continue to TRY to relax with getting out of the house!

Well, I just saw that "The Game" is on sooooo I guess I know what I will do for the rest of the day...Got my fix!


Monday, December 20, 2010

Thoughts of a 21 century woman: Dating

As I reflect on the last 3 years of undergrad, I think about all of the influences and experiences I have been exposed to in the last few years. Being 5 months from graduation forces me to reflect on the past present and future in order to grow and gain those important lessons that I prayed to God to help me get through. I will start with a popular subject that many young woman are worried about constantly: Dating. It is the inevitable and every parent dreads their daughters having to experience heartache and angst behind a man. As I have had a variety of different guy friends in my life, I have learned that the bottom line about dating someone is, you have to know what you want and you have to be on the same page. My high school teacher once told me that you can't be with someone who is not on your level. I took offense to this as I thought the person I was dating was the best thing since sliced bread. Well, as I look back, it is clear that she was right.It is important to be equally yoked. That way, you will eliminate the drama that comes with the person not understanding why you do what you do. You also find that it is easier to take your significant other to public functions without having to explain why this person can't have an intelligent conversation with your colleagues. It is so easy to settle for someone just because we as women are tricked into thinking that we are limited to what comes to us. Now that I realize that is not so true, I value the relationship that I have now. My significant other is so amazing. He is on the path to greatness and I love to embrace him and the way he supports me in all that I do. He keeps it real with me but he is always pushing me to continue working hard to achieve my dreams. What I wouldn't do without this man.

But to continue discussing dating, we have to learn what we want before we try to tell someone else how to make us happy. It is so easy to seek and find someone who is willing to do whatever it is to make us happy but if we can't do it without the presence of a significant other, as women we have to make it happen for ourselves. Otherwise, having a significant other there is only going to last as long as the person has the momentum to keep going without having that satisfaction returned. Nowhere am I discussing the sexual aspect of dating, that is another conversation but it is important to know and recognize what makes you happy so someone is not playing the guessing game from months or years just to end up hurt. With that being said, ladies, embrace yourselves, love yourselves before trying to get someone else to love you. Otherwise, you will find yourself constantly coming to yourself asking what the problem is. You may find yourself growing into a completely different person from what you initially thought you were. We change and grow so much at different stages in our lives. If you are single remember, there is no rush in dating, get to know yourself, the person, then share yourself. If you are in a relationship, learn make sure you have a friendship with that person as well as a romantic relationship. That friendship will be the foundation of something great and will keep everyone reminded as to why you are there in the first place.

Friday, December 17, 2010

Humble yet?

A couple of months ago, my significant other and I were in the mall. We were actually having a disagreement on our way to the movie theater when an older (and most certainly wiser) man stopped us and asked if we were married. We were taken aback at first because here we are in the mall and some random person just walks up to us. So, after we tell him no, he asks us when our date was because he thought we were such a beautiful couple (people tell us this all of the time.) We laughed it off and we just started chatting. Turns out, this man has the same birthday as I do. So what do I do? Tell him. He asks me if I wanted him to tell me about myself. I am thinking to myself, ok, what can he tell me that I don't know about myself. I mean yea he does have years over me but he is a man and I am a young woman, but I listened anyway. The following is a short list of things and explanations he gave me about myself. True to form, they were right on point.
1. Energetic
He said that I was highly energetic and was always on the go. He said that when I am not doing anything, I get really fidgety and don't know what to do with myself. Basically, I need to find a balance between being on the go and finding the time to really rest. (Fact)
2. Bearer of my burdens
Well, again, he was right. I do put the weight of the world on my shoulders. Sadly, I also have a problem with sharing my problems and issues with those who love me and want to be here for me. I have always been an inward person who refuses to share her feelings with my loved ones. The only one who has ever called me out on it was my love. He feels he needs to be there as my backbone but because I am THAT black woman who was brought up to feel like she doesn't need anyone, it has been a struggle opening up. I realized that I was acting single and I should probably learn how to lean on my significant other more. I mean, what else would he be there for? (Fact)
3. Humility
The best and worst of me. My rejection to submit is my protection and my downfall. I am humble but a little too much of that leads to being prideful. After telling me about myself, Mr. Man asked me was I humble yet. Coincidently, that is exactly what my significant other and I had been discussing right before we saw this man. Along with other things I have issues with, I realized that night that I needed to find some humility about myself. I mean, I am not the most arrogant person you will ever meet, but I am stubborn and have a problem with submitting to people. Although I am a very sweet person, when it comes down to what I want, I better get it or we have a problem. Part of that is growing up getting almost anything I wanted, and the other part stems from forcing myself to spoil me when no one else would.

So long story short, having a complete stranger suggest that I needed humbling out was a sign from God himself telling me what He wanted and needed me to do before I can move on in my relationship with Him. So, this is my promise to myself, my significant other, my family, and the world that I am currently working on and plan to be a new humbled woman by my 22nd birthday. I figured I would take it upon myself before God decides that I am moving too slow (if He hasn't already done so). That is all, thanks for checking in!