Friday, December 17, 2010
A couple of months ago, my significant other and I were in the mall. We were actually having a disagreement on our way to the movie theater when an older (and most certainly wiser) man stopped us and asked if we were married. We were taken aback at first because here we are in the mall and some random person just walks up to us. So, after we tell him no, he asks us when our date was because he thought we were such a beautiful couple (people tell us this all of the time.) We laughed it off and we just started chatting. Turns out, this man has the same birthday as I do. So what do I do? Tell him. He asks me if I wanted him to tell me about myself. I am thinking to myself, ok, what can he tell me that I don't know about myself. I mean yea he does have years over me but he is a man and I am a young woman, but I listened anyway. The following is a short list of things and explanations he gave me about myself. True to form, they were right on point.
He said that I was highly energetic and was always on the go. He said that when I am not doing anything, I get really fidgety and don't know what to do with myself. Basically, I need to find a balance between being on the go and finding the time to really rest. (Fact)
2. Bearer of my burdens
Well, again, he was right. I do put the weight of the world on my shoulders. Sadly, I also have a problem with sharing my problems and issues with those who love me and want to be here for me. I have always been an inward person who refuses to share her feelings with my loved ones. The only one who has ever called me out on it was my love. He feels he needs to be there as my backbone but because I am THAT black woman who was brought up to feel like she doesn't need anyone, it has been a struggle opening up. I realized that I was acting single and I should probably learn how to lean on my significant other more. I mean, what else would he be there for? (Fact)
The best and worst of me. My rejection to submit is my protection and my downfall. I am humble but a little too much of that leads to being prideful. After telling me about myself, Mr. Man asked me was I humble yet. Coincidently, that is exactly what my significant other and I had been discussing right before we saw this man. Along with other things I have issues with, I realized that night that I needed to find some humility about myself. I mean, I am not the most arrogant person you will ever meet, but I am stubborn and have a problem with submitting to people. Although I am a very sweet person, when it comes down to what I want, I better get it or we have a problem. Part of that is growing up getting almost anything I wanted, and the other part stems from forcing myself to spoil me when no one else would.
So long story short, having a complete stranger suggest that I needed humbling out was a sign from God himself telling me what He wanted and needed me to do before I can move on in my relationship with Him. So, this is my promise to myself, my significant other, my family, and the world that I am currently working on and plan to be a new humbled woman by my 22nd birthday. I figured I would take it upon myself before God decides that I am moving too slow (if He hasn't already done so). That is all, thanks for checking in!