Monday, March 19, 2012

I Take On the World!

I am a woman, in case you didn't know...And as a woman I possess some characteristics that will either make me crazy or extremely successful. These things are super awesome assets to have but can be excessive and overwhelming at times. For instance, I have my list of 30 by 30 things to do. And as you can see, I attempt to see and take on all of the world's problems, including my own. As attainable as that list is, it requires that everyday I am making moves towards something great, and that is where the strangeness comes in. There are some things on that list that without a doubt I will accomplish. There are some things on my mental list that I want to add but I am afraid that I won't have the heart to pursue. Funny thing is, I am a fearless 23 year old with a lot of life ahead of her. The other funny thing, all of that life ahead of me leaves me feeling like I have to constantly plan for everything! And well, I am a terrible planner! I have to have short term goals because if I have too much time to think about all of the possibilities, I began to put a lot of pressure on myself to perform which creates doubt about my abilities, which results in me freaking out and backing out of a long term plan...

So the point of all of this is to say, I have always wanted to run for a state beauty pageant do this thing...I was so close to it and for the last 7 years, I've considered it, called, did the interview, got this out of the world confidence, and then backed out at the last minute...It freaks me out to be on stage in front of thousands of people. Showing off my body, being judged for my beauty is nerve wrecking. I've always been a pretty girl but every year it was, 1) my hair wasn't pretty enough, 2) I didn't have enough support, 3) I didn't have the money, 4) I didn't have the body...on and on and on with the excuses.

So I made a move last year. I participated in a college level pageant, did so well, didn't win but gain a great deal of confidence in my ability to be in front of people and perform under pressure. I wanted to do the state level pageant but there was honestly too much going on at the time to participate. So I didn't. The director keeps in touch with me because she adores me and truly was in my corner, I'm pretty sure the thought of all of the money they'd raise didn't hurt, but that is another story. So anywayz, I got an email tonight saying that the Miss USA pageant would be in Vegas this year...Tears. I would so love to be there with all of my might! So I told my sweetie that I wanted to go for it this year. I mean, I age out in two years so it is now or never. As supportive as he is, he advised me to take on one project as a time. (Again, this is the overwhelming thing I do to myself pretty often). He told me instead of taking on the world, I should just take on one country at a time...Good one right?! As true as that is, it still sits with me that this is a dream I have had since I was a teenager! That is a long time to hold on to a dream. So I am sure it is something that is meant to happen...In God's time!

This is me in the pageant!

With that being said, take it easy Phenomenal Ladies and have a fabulous and blessed week!

4 comments:

  1. I say go for it!! You will never know unless you try and you absolutely do not want to live with regret. I always wanted to model and was too scared of failure to try. Finally, I got the guts to do it and I enjoyed every minute of it. I did not make it big but I got to do what I'd always dreamed of doing and it's nice not to wonder what if. No matter what happens in the end if you gave it your best shot you can still be okay with it.

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    1. Thank you for the encouragement! I need it!

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  2. Definitely follow your heart, and your dreams. We have one life, and my oh my does time fly. I swear it was just yesterday that I was sittin' in class at 16 ready to take on the world. Blinked my eyes and here I am 30, and wondering where the time went, while trying not to waste a second more!

    ps wonderful pic!

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    1. It goes by so fast! Crazy thing is, I know this and still let the years go by...This year is going to be one of no fear!

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Thanks Phenomenal ladies for showing love. What's on your mind?