Friday, January 06, 2012
New Year, New Values: Forgiveness
We all hear about it. We all say it. But what does it really take to actually FORGIVE someone who has hurt you once, twice, or as many times as a clock strikes in a day? I have recently experienced the extent to which forgiveness will truly take over your daily functioning and how I have been forced to grow. Truly grow past hurt and pain I have experienced from friends.
In the last few months of the year, I was really forced to lean on my friends. Sadly, no one really had time to help me past my hurt because they were so focused on things going on in their lives. Now all I could think of at the time was, WTH, I am always there for my friends, dropping everything for them and I can't get an ear to talk to...PROBLEM. So for the last two months of the year, I stopped talking to my friends, didn't call them for their birthdays, didn't call for the holidays. I was truly taken aback by the fact that they weren't there for me and honestly considered calling the friendship quits, despite years of good times. But one day I just woke up and I was over it. I was truly over the hurt that I had experienced from feeling like my friends had left me hanging. Then, I realized that in order for me to start my new year off in the right way, it would be best for me to just...forgive...It feels like a weight has been released off of my heart, chest, and my mind. What it really took for me to forgive, well keep reading...
During those months that I choose not to talk to my friends, I noticed, they didn't call me either. Interesting enough, I thought I was hurting them when I was only hurting myself. That is when I finally said, ok, I will be the one to break the ice and make the move to either go forward with a friendship or really just consider it a seasonal situation. When I gave in and prayed about it, I found that I had no choice but to just forgive. Just forgive. Let the past be the past and move forward. What may come of it, will come, it was out of my hands. So I forgave. I still didn't talk to one of my friends until the last week of the year and the other just two days ago. As interesting as it was, I found that even after all of the pain I experienced behind my friends, forgiving them made all of that go away and I've been able to have pleasant, non-disgruntled conversation with them. Fancy that! So my lesson to you and myself is to find it in yourself to forgive those who hurt you in the past. It really only hurts you by holding a chip on your shoulder because the other person probably goes on with their lives. So from here on out, forgiveness is incorporated into my growth plan. I wouldn't be human if I didn't face hurt from those close to me...Now I'm not saying to be a punching bag. However I do believe that relationships require bumps along the journey.
What is a friendship without a few obstacles? What is the point of working toward having a stronger relationship if there is nothing to really grow into?
Hope this helps you move forward with the New Year!